November 14, 2008. For most, that was just another ordinary day. For my family it was our last day with my Grandpa. Grandpa had battled cancer for a while, the battle growing increasingly tough for him that previous summer. I remember one day as I was gearing up for my senior year, feeling the urge to scrap my housing plans for the year and instead move in with my Grandpa and Grandma. I had been set to move in with two friends and a new student in one of the senior apartments on campus. It would have been a fun year with them! But instead, I went and had dinner with my grandparents and told them what I had been feeling. I moved into the main guest room in their house and got settled for the year. Little did we know that just a matter of days later, things would begin to get more gruesome for Grandpa.
It got to the point where he was having to go to the bathroom multiple times a night and needed someone's help to get there. A couple of nights, I spent the night on the couch next to my grandpa's chair where he slept. I remember how horrible he felt having to lose his dignity in front of me as I helped him go to the bathroom. I kept on reassuring him that I really didn't mind. I honestly didn't. This was a man who I loved dearly. He'd been my role model all my life. I can remember following him around at their home in Colorado as he did various things. He always had some sort of a fancy project going on. Sometimes I didn't understand what these projects were about, but I followed him around and helped him nonetheless. One summer in the late 90s my grandparents were gearing up to sell their house in Colorado Springs and move to the Nazarene missionary retirement center in Temple City, California. I went out to help them clean and fix up various things. One loss of dignity moment that came long before Grandpa's final months was when I walked upstairs during that time to find my gramps fresh out of the shower standing in his birthday suit just chatting up a storm with my grandma in the hallway. Grandpa let out a "Whoops here" and scurried off into his room. We laughed about that a lot afterwards.
One of the memories I have of Grandpa during that time of his getting more sick was his faith still standing strong as ever. He would sit in his chair and read one of his newest Bibles. An English Standard Version leather bound Bible with a crown of thorns indented into the cover. I inherited that Bible after his death. In it, just like the rest of his devotional Bibles, Grandpa had underlined and scribbled different things in the sections that he was reading. In those last few days in his house in Nampa, Grandpa had been going through the Psalms. On August 13, 2008, Grandpa underlined Psalm 37:4 which says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." On the 29th he underlined Psalm 31:14 which says, "But I trust in you, O Lord, I say, You are my God. My times are in your hand." Next to that verse he wrote, 'my pain'. In other places he underlined various verses and put the initials of various family members next to them. In one such place he underlined Psalm 34:7 for my sister and I. That reads, "The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear him, and delivers them."
By this stage in my Grandpa's life he was in lots of pain. Yet, his faith stood firm. His trust was still as strong as ever in his Lord. My Grandpa was a man of unrelenting faith. He faced so many different circumstances in his life, yet through all of the ones that I saw him face, his never let his faith in God lose any ground. In those days of severe pain, he was still being as sacrificial as ever and considering others needs and their struggles above his own.
Grandpa passed away about two and a half months after I moved in with him. During those last few weeks of his life on earth, his faith still stood strong. He saw visions of angels, prayed as fervently as ever, and lastly surrendered his life over to God, this time for eternity. The day he passed away my parents, my grandma and I were there with him. I turned quite horribly sick in his last few hours on earth. I threw up multiple times. As Grandpa was breathing his last, we sang various hymns; ones he had asked us to sing in the time before his death. That afternoon a couple of children's choirs were touring the care facility where he was. They too sang songs to Grandpa.
Grandpa passed, and as he did, in my sickness, I began to faint. Suddenly someone gave me Grandpa's oxygen mask. I breathed deep and alas I didn't faint. In Grandpa's death, he was still giving of his resources to help others, albeit unknowingly in this case!
My grandpa was 84 when he passed away. Today I will begin an 84 day challenge. Hopefully it will go longer than that. There will be some practices which I will take up, and others which I give up. Through this period, I hope to live my life more like my Grandpa. Not to put any savior characteristics on my Grandpa; but rather to try and live my life like a man committed to his faith, family, friends, and world. Thanks for everything Grandpa!
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