Five and almost a half years ago, I started my senior year of boarding school in Kijabe, Kenya at Rift Valley Academy. Three years prior to that I started out there for the first time, in 9th grade. When I first got there, a few great friends welcomed me the best they knew how. One of them was a friend who had lived there for all of his life. We hit it off from the get go, our passions for rugby and football draw us together. His family too welcomed me in the kindest way possible. I spent many hours at my friend’s house either working on homework, studying about God, fellowshipping with friends, or just resting. I couldn’t have asked for anything more. God had blessed me with a best friend.
Now back to five and a half years ago. It was the start of our senior year there at RVA. My friend and I had taken a liking for a girl who seemed to have the qualities that both of us looked for in a lady. We were on a collision course for disaster. I had known that my friend had liked this girl the previous year. I had as well. But, when I found out that he liked her, I made a mistake. I continued to pursue my own selfish desires. This meant that there was now something which had come between us. We were both fighting each other’s testosterone and our own friendship for something which in the end was all in vain.
My friends told me to stop. I didn’t listen. I continued on down a path of selfishness over friendship. Eventually, our friendship was almost nil. If we weren’t in the same Sunday School class and teammates on a rugby team, we wouldn’t have interacted much at all. The damage had been done, I had lost most of a friend who had meant three years of brotherhood in all aspects of life to me.
Thankfully, the pathway to reconciliation was started at the end of that school year, and today we’re friends again. But, the truth is that I regret the time that was lost. I regret not being able to be there for a brother who had been there for me.
Yesterday that brother got married. I couldn’t be more happy for a friend than I am for him. And I couldn’t be in more agony over the pain of what I had done to cause the rift in our friendship.
I hope that something can be learned from the stupidity of my example. I hope that others will seriously consider what they are sacrificing or giving up in their friendship with others when they enter into another.
Love you man. As you start this journey, I pray you have a life of blessedness with your God and your wife.
